Dear Friends, 

You love your boys deeply, but do you ever struggle connecting with your son? And finding new ways to relate to and motivate your son?

We invite you to learn ways to have a better relationship with your son, by watching this series “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect,” by Dr. Emerson and Focus on the Family.

Video 1 - The Love and Respect Principle
In the first video of “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect,” Dr. Emerson offers a biblical explanation for why men and boys are wired for respect while women and girls are designed to seek love.

This is part of God’s good plan for us, but in our broken human nature, we often react in frustration or anger. As a result, we end up feeling disconnected and misunderstood.
This can certainly be true of moms and their sons.

Take heart though! Dr. Eggerichs says when moms show respect to their sons, it causes boys to move toward — not away from — their mothers. That’s much better than stonewalling.   

Video 2 - How Does Respect Change Your Son
In Episode #2, Dr. Eggerichs talks about how boys interpret their mother’s words, tone, and demeanor very differently than girls do.

Even when Mom means no disrespect with her words of correction, her son detects something very different. He hears condemnation of his character and disapproval of the state of their relationship.

This is an important distinction. Let’s explore how moms can avoid going down this road. ... Read more!

Video 3 - Moving Beyond Yelling, Tears, and Regret
Mom, you often find yourself in a tough spot. Day after day, you remind your son to do his chores and finish his homework. And yet, it feels like your words bounce off the ceiling. He doesn’t hear you.

When you have to get your son motivated, what words do you use? Do you feel like you have to resort to yelling or nagging to get him to hear you?

That can lead to his tears and your regret. That’s no fun for either of you!

At Focus on the Family, moms tell us all the time that this is a big struggle with their boys. But today’s video can help alleviate that pressure!

In this third installment, Dr. Eggerichs shares some practical, everyday phrases that moms can use to express their disappointment or anger in positive ways, while still showing their sons the respect they crave.

As he grows up, your son is beginning to appreciate more and more that you can entrust him with responsibility. You, as his mom, ought to give him the opportunity to own it. .... Read more.

Video 4 - Learning the Vocabulary of Respect
One of the most difficult challenges for a mom can be confronting her son’s poor behavior while still affirming him as a person.

In this fourth episode, Dr. Eggerichs shares how Mom can use a specific kind of vocabulary to speak her son’s “respect language” and yet still address his shortcomings....Read more!

Video 5 - Words and the Power of Unconditional Respect
In this fifth and final episode, Jim Daly and Dr. Eggerichs discuss how our culture has perpetuated a false notion that respect must be earned.

Instead, a biblical view says that respect — like love — ought to be given unconditionally.
It is not always easy, but you can do it.... Read more!

I encourage you to contact Pastor John for additional marriage or family support!
May God bless you and your family!

Dear Friends,

“The Fruit of the Spirit,” is a 9-part devotion that focuses on Galatians 5:22-23. Focus on the Family created it for you and your spouse, and we believe it will bless you!

This time of year, you’ve probably been thinking about gifts to give your family and relatives. It’s always a thrill to find something you know they will love and treasure.

Jesus gave His followers the ultimate gift of the Holy Spirit after He ascended into heaven. And if you believe in Him, He gives you that gift too!

The Holy Spirit is His presence, living inside you, giving you power to overcome your sinful nature. As you yield to the Spirit’s control in your life, He shapes you and grows you to be more like Christ. (2 Corinthians 3:17-18) That’s an incredible gift!

#1 Love
In the first video of the series, you’ll learn about love, the first of the nine Spirit-produced characteristics that He grows in you as you walk with the LORD. This Holy Spirit-powered love is a choice — not a feeling — and it is expressed as you seek the welfare of others. In your marriage, this love enables you to put your spouse’s needs above your own, and during the Christmas season, it’s the perfect time.
Click here to watch the first session.

#2 Joy
In this second video, you will see that joy should not be confused for happiness. Happiness is fleeting. It’s a response to positive things that happen to you. Joy is the choice to see goodness no matter what circumstances come. The Christmas season is a great reminder that, when God is at the center of your marriage, you can find joy no matter the challenges.
Click here to watch session 2.

#3 Peace
In the third episode, you’ll learn that peace comes when you focus on the LORD and trust His promises. In Scripture, peace often refers to rest — that you can put all your belief and confidence in what Jesus has done for you. Even at Christmas, we celebrate the prophesy of Isaiah: “The punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds, we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5)
What does peace look like in your marriage?
Click here to watch session 3.

#4 Patience
In session four, we’re talking about patience. Patience is in short supply during the busy and stressful times that can come with the Christmas season. But God demonstrates to you and your spouse what patience is like through His mercy, grace, and love. You don’t get what you really deserve from God. Instead, He shows longsuffering patience with us, even when we stray.
With the Holy Spirit’s help, you can substitute frustration and anger with a patient love toward your spouse.
Click here to watch session 4.

#5 Kindness
In this episode, we look to Jesus to show us how to be kind despite messiness and ugliness. This can be hard when you are in a fight, or are frustrated with your spouse. But the Holy Spirit can give you fresh eyes to see things differently, including your spouse. He makes it possible for you to extend kindness and forgiveness when your flesh is weak, at Christmastime and throughout the year.
Click here to watch episode 5.

#6 Goodness
In today’s sixth episode, you’ll see that goodness is a reflection of God’s holy character that acts on behalf of others. This time of year, we celebrate God showing His goodness by sending His Son to broken humanity. Emmanuel — God with us.
In your marriage, when goodness drives your words and actions, you show honor and love toward your spouse.
Click here to watch video 6.

#7 Faithfulness
In the seventh video, we reflect on the fact that God’s steadfast faithfulness never ceases, and He always keeps His promises. What does faithfulness look like in marriage? Faithfulness means remaining loyal to your spouse, sticking beside him or her throughout life. Faithfulness means being consistent in character, actions, and speech. Because faithfulness is a fruit of the Spirit, you will need God’s help to live it out in your marriage.
Click here to watch episode 7.

#8  Gentleness
In video 8, you’re going to hear about gentleness. Think of it as a servant-hearted mindset. Jesus showed gentleness in washing the feet of His disciples. At your house, gentleness might look like responding in love and grace instead of lashing out, especially during the stress of the Christmas season. The Holy Spirit can empower you to yield your strengths under His control and give your spouse (or even your in-laws) a place of honor.
Click here to watch the 8th episode.

#9 Self-control
In the ninth and final episode of this series, we’re going to talk about the gift of self-control. Like all of the other fruits of the Spirit, self-control is behavior powered by the Holy Spirit. Self-control is saying yes to something greater.
In marriage, choosing self-control can be difficult. In moments of strife and conflict, you need the Holy Spirit’s help to react toward your spouse with self-control. Invite the Holy Spirit to take the lead in what you say, think, and do. Choose to let Him be in control.
Click here to watch the 9th video.

I encourage you to contact Pastor John  for additional marriage or family support.
May God bless you and your family! 

Dear Friends,

All families face personality clashes, strain, and conflict from time to time. If someone in your family is demanding or difficult to interact with, their behavior makes interactions tough for everyone. A demanding parent, grandparent, aunt, or uncle can put a significant strain on a married couple’s relationship if the couple doesn’t have a game plan for navigating that relative’s demands.

Demanding family members can create unnecessary drama for everyone–something most people want to avoid. Planning a calm, loving response to neutralize stress is important so that you, your spouse, and the rest of your family can enjoy a healthy, thriving relationship.

Wondering how to cope with a demanding family member? Read on to check out Dr. Les and Leslie Parrott's latest blog post.

MAKE A GAME PLAN AHEAD OF TIME.
If you know you’re going to be dealing with demanding family members, it’s wise to put your heads together and make a game plan ahead of time. Here are a few things you should decide:

• How are you going to address this relative’s demands?
• What position will you each take in order to keep the situation as calm as possible?
• How do you need to respond to them if they create tension between you and your spouse, or within the family?

BE A UNITED FRONT.
No matter what, you and your spouse need to present a united front when dealing with demanding family members. When spouses aren’t united, it’s easy for a third party to slip in and triangulate the relationship or a specific situation. Keep communication with your spouse wide open. Talk to one another if or when this family member approaches you with requests.
Be non-committal when this relative begins making demands or becomes forceful with you. Here are a few things you can say to neutralize the conversation:

• “Thanks for the idea; we’ll think about it.”
• “I’m not sure what we’re going to be doing yet, but thank you for the suggestion.”
• “I appreciate your concern. We agreed we won’t be making a decision until we discuss it together first.”

BE FLEXIBLE WHERE YOU CAN.
Are there particular requests or preferences that your relative is invested in, but you are not? Is there something you can comfortably give in to, in order to keep the situation peaceful? Can you present options to them, rather than a hard yes-or-no answer?
Your demanding relative may simply want to feel more involved in family decisions, events, or celebrations. If there’s a way you can get them involved without necessarily handing over control, think about what that might look like. Are there elements you can compromise on? Is there a win-win situation you can create that will make them happier?

REMEMBER, YOU CAN’T MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY.
Emotions tend to run high when it comes to family decisions and events, particularly among individuals who are demanding or have high expectations. Most people are invested in maintaining and cultivating happy emotions and feelings of joy, so it’s distressing for a member of the family to be unhappy.
Talk to your family member together if possible, and let them know what your expectations are for smoother interactions. It’s important to do this in a loving way, with patience and grace. Consider how Jesus might respond to the situation you’re in, and let those answers inform your next steps.

Love Like That, is a great guide to loving like Jesus did. Whether you want to show greater love to your family, friends, coworkers, or strangers, this book will help point you in the right direction. Get your copy here.

Click here to check out many marriage video clips from Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott.

I encourage you to contact Pastor John  for additional marriage or family support. May God bless you and your family!